just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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