whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize