and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
