would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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