You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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