It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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