Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
