So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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