Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
