2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
