I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
