Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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