thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
