It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
