My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
