I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
