He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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