you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wear drunk well.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
