clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
