Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
