I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just found puke in my bra..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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