he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
