sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
