If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
