Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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