She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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