Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
