you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
