so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
