im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
