i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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