Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
