You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
