Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So vagazzling was a success
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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