a queef is a wish your heart makes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
