my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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