its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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