Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
