Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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