school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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