Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
