11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
