i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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