i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
