gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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