I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
