why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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