just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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