I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
