i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
