i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize