Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
