i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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