dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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