If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
