My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The adults are the big ones right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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