I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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