so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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