hell yes lets make some ravioli
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize