She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
