now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
