We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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